Break out the Champagne
by Daelan
Summary: ((Complete)) HarryxDraco. Dialogue fic. "You all right, Malfoy?" "Other than the fact that a giant spider just tried to eat me, then dropped me on my butt?" "Yes, besides that." "Just peachy."


_A/N 1: And yet another all-dialogue fic. Eight pages, or thereabouts._

_A/N 2: This time, written on a haven't-slept-for-a-few-days-straight high. Equivalent to a dozen sugar highs._

_A/N: Harry/Draco, of course! Becomes Draco/Harry near the end… and yes, there's a difference._

Break out the Champagne

"Tell me again why we're doing this?"

"Because the alternative is to have to be bound together until we can get along. Forever, in other words. Better to just make this little trip to the Forbidden Forest."

"Ah. Tell me something else?"

"What?"

"Is something following us?"

"…"

"…"

"Should there be, Malfoy?"

"Well, I should certainly _hope not, Potter, but I'm positive I heard something move back there."_

"Oh. Well, that can't be good. Wands out, d'you reckon?"

"Yeah…"

"…whoa. Déjà vu."

"What?"

"Never mind, Malfoy."

"Well, you don't have to bite my head off!"

"I wasn't trying to! Shut up, you're making too much noise!"

"Me! What about you, you overgrown –"

"Yes, you, as you yourself have pointed out. Shut the hell up, Malfoy!"

"If you think for a moment tha – Ahh!!"

"Malfoy! Aragog?"

"You _know_ this thing?"

"Harry Potter. What are you doing here?"

"Er. Ah. Long story. We're on detention. The professors will come looking for us if we don't get back!"

"…"

"…"

"We're gonna die, Potter. Been nice knowing you."

"Very well. I cannot take the risk that my colony will be destroyed by your kind."

"Ow!"

"You all right, Malfoy?"

"Other than the fact that a giant spider just tried to eat me, then dropped me on my butt?"

"Yes, besides that."

"Just peachy."

"Good."

"I could almost think you cared, Potter."

"…"

"…"

"Maybe I do."

"What?"

"Nothing, let's go. We still have to find the flowers for Professor Snape."

"Speaking of sadistic bastards…"

"Were we?"

"We are now."

"Ah."

"As I was saying, speaking of sadistic bastards, I need to come up with something to get a certain sadistic bastard back for this."

"Generally, sadistic means taking sexual pleasure out of inflicting pain on others."

"…"

"…"

"…didn't need to know that."

"The word has its roots in Marquis de Sade's name… his works are considered un-publishable even today."

"I don't even want to know where you got this from, Potter."

"Just thought it was interesting."

"Very."

"Is that it?"

"Black, four petals, grows in bunches, it is! It's the bloody flower! And about bloody time! Now we can get _out of here!"_

"I'm inclined to think you're scared, Malfoy."

"… I am not scared, Potter."

"Oh?"

"There is a definite note of teasing to your voice. You are talking like we're friends. Somewhere, a pig has sprouted wings. The sky has come crashing down."

"…"

"Or not. Well, the sky hasn't fallen yet, anyway. It should, soon enough."

"Come off it, Malfoy. We don't always have to bicker."

"Yes, we do! I'm a Malfoy, you're a Potter. Gryffindor, Slytherin. Heck, we're even opposites in looks. I'm fair, you're dark. And the other way around in terms of magic."

"You've failed to notice my vampiric fairness, then."

"You're a vampire?"

"Metaphor, Malfoy. Metaphor."

"Oh. But that still doesn't mean we can be friends."

"Why not?"

"Because you turned me down in first year."

"…"

"…"

"And I'm sorry about that. But you had no cause to make fun of Ron. He's a decent guy once you get to know him. You shouldn't judge him by how much money he has."

"Don't you mean doesn't have?"

"I'll pretend I didn't hear that. And you. Supposedly Malfoys are all arrogant bitches and bastards. But I don't quite think you are. And if I hadn't been so quick to judge you because of how quick you were to judge Ron, we might have been friends today."

"…was that a compliment or an insult?"

"Bit of both."

"Ah."

"Seriously, we're in seventh year now. Shouldn't we be a little more mature?"

"I suppose we should, at that. That _is all we need?"_

"No, there's still some caterpillar we need to catch. It should be here somewhere, it likes these flowers…"

"That it?"

"Yep. Grab it!"

"You grab it!"

"Why can't you… oh, for…"

"Ugh. Slimy little thing… you've got another thing coming if you think I'm going to _touch that."_

"You sound like a girl, Malfoy."

"I do _not_!"

"Most certainly you do."

"Not!"

"And here we go again."

"Humph. You started it… stop laughing, Potter!"

"I s-started it? Malfoy, now you sound like a five-year-old girl!"

"Shut up, Potter!"

"…"

"… Okay, you're not shutting up. Come _on, you laughing lunatic, I want to get back to the school. I'm freezing."_

"O-okay."

"See? Now you've got hiccups from laughing so much."

"No, I h-haven't."

"Sure you haven't."

"Maybe just a b-it!"

"You sound ridiculous, Potter. Keep your mouth shut, do."

"…"

"…"

"…"

"…"

"… I think they're gone now."

"Excuse me while I break out the champagne."

"…"

"…why are you holding my hand?"

"Why not?"

"Because enemies don't hold hands."

"Who says you're my enemy?"

"…everyone?"

"Do you?"

"…"

"…"

"…I'd like not to be…"

"There you go, then."

"…"

"…"

"Potter?"

"Hmm?"

"I'm gay."

"Hmm."

"That's it? That's your response?"

"Well, what am I supposed to say?"

"When I told Pansy, she demolished a table before running up to her room to cry. When I told Millicent, she fainted. When I told Crabbe and Goyle, they started snogging each other, and the sight has traumatised me for life."

"Well then, my response is a nice change, isn't it? And I'm bi, so why should I care that you're gay?"

"Can't decide?"

"Hey, I had a crush on Cho Chang in fourth year and a bit of fifth. Then I got a crush on a guy, and I realised I was gay. Except not, because I still found some girls attractive, so then I realised I was bi."

"…whoa."

"Yeah…"

"So who's the lucky guy?"

"As if I'd tell you!"

"Come on, Potter. Thought you wanted to be friends?"

"That's just it. I want us to be friends. That's why I can't tell you."

"God, tell me you don't have a crush on Crabbe or Goyle."

"Eww!"

"Thank goodness."

"…"

"Why have we stopped?"

"…but I do have a crush on someone they hang out with often…"  
  


"But they don't hang out with anyone but…"

"…"

"…oh."

"Yeah…"

"You have a crush on _me?"_

"You don't have to rub it in. Why I had to fall for you I don't know."

"Hey, don't pull, Harry!"

"…"

"What?"

"You called me by my name…"

"…so I did."

"I'm sorry, Draco. I shouldn't have told you."

"Oh, shut up, do."

"…"

"Thank you. Now, why do you say you shouldn't have told me?"

"Because you obviously don't feel the same way, and I shouldn't have just thrust it on you like I did and – mm…"

…

…

…

…

"Mm. You taste nice."

"So do you."

"You reckon we should get back to the school, then?"

"What's your hurry?"

"Nothing, just that the professors will be waiting for us and – mm, don't _do_ that when I'm trying to think!"

"Do what?"

"Mm, that!"

"Fine, fine…"

"We need to get back."

"Fine. Be a spoil-sport."

"I love you."

"…"

"…"

"Love you too, Harry."

_~fin_


End file.
